lifeskills

Worries that don’t go away…and how to make them go away

How different is it to be a student now compared to five years ago? Ten years? Twenty years?

The world continues to change. Your experiences are shaped by advances in technology. What you take for granted today may not have existed when you were born.

But how different are your worries compared to previous years?

Feeling anxious? (photo by jαγ △)

Feeling anxious? (photo by jαγ △)

A YouthInsight poll of more than 1,500 students has asked current students and this year’s uni applicants about their anxieties about campus life. Times Higher Education reports on the top five concerns as:

  1. Money (63%)
  2. Difficulties settling in (50%)
  3. Trouble making friends (48%)
  4. Getting on with flatmates (44%)
  5. Too much partying/drinking (22%)

There is nothing new in this list. And it’s understandable that you’d be worried about these things. For many, stepping on campus for the first time is also the first time away from the family home. The first time you’re fending for yourself in a major way.

If any of these matters are causing you anxiety, check out these links from the archives…

Money

Settling In

Making Friends

Getting Along

Partying/Alcohol

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Many of your worries may be similar to others around you. The cliché goes that you’re all in the same boat when you start university. Cliché or not, that means you’re all trying to make sense of what’s new. And that’s not always easy.

Remember, you’re not getting it wrong. You’re exploring and discovering. The awesomeness can take time.

It’s worth the wait. 🙂

How You Can Do What You Keep Putting Off

Ah, distractions!

Distractions are a lovely way to do anything other than what you should be doing.

Distractions are plentiful and a recipe for forgetting. You have an ever-expanding list of things that are hard to resist. Then you have Facebook and Twitter (and the rest!) all bringing a steady stream (or a heavy flow, perhaps even a tsunami) of tidbits that can take you to every destination imaginable, and from every direction you care to come from.

Why is it so difficult to get rid of distraction and stop procrastinating?

  • Fear of missing out;
  • Everyone else doing it;
  • No natural end;
  • It feeds your pleasure centres in the brain;
  • It can *feel* useful, even when that’s an excuse.

Sid Savara’s procrastination survey shows that, overwhelmingly, people just don’t feel like doing the things they’re meant to be doing. They put it off because they *want* to put it off.

What can you do to stop this spiral from going further and further out of control?

photo by Bernat Casero

Tick, tock, putting it off… (photo by Bernat Casero)

Set an incredibly short amount of time

Ten or fifteen minutes should do it. Push yourself for just that amount of time and see how you feel. You may be happy to continue after that set time.

Switch off notifications

A beep or a screen notification will stop you from what you’re doing, whether you like it or not. No matter how much you tell yourself to ignore it, you’ve already been alerted to it. The temptation is there, itching away at you at exactly the wrong time. Switch those messages off!

Mindmap

Starting is easier when you have a better overview of what you want to achieve. A mindmap will let you consider ideas and links with ease. It may be what you need to conquer your procrastination. I recently gave mindmapping software, Mindmaple Lite a whirl. It’s free and it’s easy to use, so you can concentrate more on the mindmap than the software.

Outline

If mindmapping isn’t your thing, how about a brief outline of what you want to achieve? Build up your sections and sub-sections to break down your research and writing into smaller tasks. I recently discovered Quicklyst as an online way to create outlines.

Act like it’s a blog post

The pressure of writing an academic essay can lead to procrastination. So treat the writing more casually. A recent post on Lifehack explained that 1,000 words doesn’t have to take a lot of time when you work in the right order.

Try writing a snappy title or headline if the essay question is getting in the way (making sure that you’re still trying to answer the same question!). Then, see if you can rattle off a quick introduction and conclusion to help your own mindset (you may wish to rewrite later, so this is just for you right now). Then make a quick outline of the major points you want to cover throughout the essay. After this, fill in the gaps. Do this with a timer if you prefer, so you challenge yourself to get the bulk written quickly, rather than worrying over every last word and detail. Edit and re-draft later.

Go somewhere different

Location makes a huge difference to your productivity, your attitude, and your outlook. Find places you’ve not been to before and explore where it takes your mind, not just your body.

Watch an inspiring talk or presentation

Find a TED talk and watch it. You’ll be procrastinating (win), and you’ll feed yourself some brain-food that’ll get you more psyched up for work (win).

Well, so long as you don’t just keep watching more TED talks…

Understand what’s stopping you

Okay, so you want to put this off. But why? What is the real reason for your procrastination? Be honest. Are you not interested in the topic itself? Do you have difficulty understanding the subject (time to fire up Wikipedia for the basics)? Have you got loads of friends tempting you away for fun?

If you don’t work out why you’re putting the work off, you’ll keep on putting it off!

Stop expecting perfect

Perfectionism is a recipe for procrastination. When you picture the most amazing coursework to have ever graced this earth, everything you do will be a disappointment. After a while, you’ll feel inadequate and start putting off the work instead of cracking on.

Nothing is perfect. And your first drafts are certainly not meant to be anything other than, well, first drafts. Successful writers almost never finish on their first attempt. They redraft, they edit, they get opinions from others. If established writers need to do this, you can stop beating yourself up over flaws. Even a First Class essay has flaws!

 Believe that you can keep learning

As a child, I was told that I was ‘good at maths’. Children tend to believe what they are told. So I went through school believing I had a good grasp of maths. That was fine for a while, but when new concepts arrived that I didn’t understand, I started to think I wasn’t good at maths any more. I guessed I wasn’t as smart as some people had made out.

The concept of ‘smart’ and ‘clever’ is flawed. Turn the perspective around. We all have to learn. Nobody is born with great wisdom and knowledge. What matters is a willingness to keep learning new things and stop worrying that you’re not ‘smart’ enough.

Don’t discount the future

According to one paper about procrastination:

“…the value of socializing in the present is weighed heavily while the value of getting good grades in the future is discounted. This quirk leads to delays in studying for tests, writing term papers and getting prepared for weekly assignments. As can be expected, students who procrastinate generally discounted future values greater than students who don’t procrastinate.”

The future seems a long way away. No wonder it feels easy to put tomorrow to one side. But the future soon becomes the present and it’ll bite you on the bum if you don’t deal with it in good time.

Forgive yourself

We all fall down from time to time. The occasional lapse is allowed. It’s not uncommon to put something off for ten minutes and then find you’ve put it off for ten days.

So long as this doesn’t happen all the time, you can let yourself off the hook. You’ll probably procrastinate less on the next task if you forgive yourself.

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Procrastination can happen when you suffer a delay beyond your control, like when you’re waiting on a crucial library book to be available. Even then, you can find ways to move beyond the initial setback. Sometimes you do just have to wait. That gives you time to spend on other stuff anyway! 😉

How will you keep the procrastination beast at bay today?

What ‘Preparation’ Really Is

In loads of posts for this blog, I say that you should prepare for stuff. Prepare for the year, prepare for lectures, prepare for seminars, prepare for essays, prepare for exams. Prepare, prepare, PREPARE!

You might think that preparation is pointless. After all, you don’t get formal recognition for it.

Well, that’s not quite true.

Preparation isn’t a dress rehearsal before the real thing. Think of it more as a scaffold toward better formal recognition. To prepare is to start. And it’s not just any old start; it’s starting big.

Shape ideas in your mind as early as you can, have the end in mind, ask yourself what you want to get out of the project, get an overview of the subject, develop an awareness of what’s going on…

When you put the time in from the outset, you’re in a better position to finish. And, as Scott Young says, starting isn’t useful without finishing.

We’re very good at filling time. There’s always something to do. That’s why it’s so easy to get into the mindset that you’ll start — or finish — tomorrow. Always tomorrow. When it’s too late, there is no time to prepare.

photo by D Sharon Pruitt

photo by D Sharon Pruitt

Preparation has no fixed strategy. Make it useful to you. You could:

  • Outline an idea with estimated timescales and outcomes;
  • Build up a skeleton understanding or scaffold framework of a concept/subject;
  • View what you need to get from A to B (that is, from start to finish);
  • Get the right tools in place to allow an effective and efficient transition.

These are just a few of the possibilities. No matter what your take is, your starting moves should represent the beginning of a journey as you consider why you’re undertaking it.

“‘Everything will be alright” is not the same as ‘everything will stay the same’.” – Seth Godin

11 Things You Should Be Every Day

You can be lots of things. What will you be today?

photo by It's Holly

photo by It's Holly

Some days I like to plan every minute. Other days I choose what I want to be and see where it takes me. It all depends on my mood and what’s already on my to-do list.

There are some things you can be any time. Whether you’re a Fresher or in your final year, fill your day by trying to be these things:

1. Be Seen

Make yourself visible. If nobody can see you, how do they know what you’re up to? Socially, academically, professionally…get on the radar! Speak to people, write a blog, get involved in something you feel strongly about, ask questions, create a portfolio, find somewhere or something new to explore.

2. Be Emotional

Robots don’t (currently) possess genuine feelings. You do. Make your strengths real by explaining how and why you feel the way you do. Emotions are nothing to be afraid of. Expressing yourself isn’t a problem, so long as you consider your response. You can be honest and clear and open without resorting to spontaneity.

photo by Camdiluv

photo by Camdiluv

3. Be Interested

When you’re interested, it brings out the best in people. My Dad used to go to jazz clubs and he saw some awful bands. So bad that it wouldn’t be a surprise if everyone just left or even started throwing things. But my Dad and his friends did something different. They showed increasing interest. They cheered the bands on. They gave time and attention to these acts and egged them on. And you know what? The majority of the time this allowed the band members to relax a little and improve their playing, or at least give a more hearty performance. Not everything works out at first glance, but a little time and interest can take you places you never imagined possible.

4. Be Helpful

Everyone has to start somewhere. If you see someone else trying to get over a hurdle you had to jump in the past, why not offer some advice or talk strategies with them? Your offer of help may benefit another, and you may just find that they’re able to help you in return. Even if nothing is obvious at the time, you’ve used an opportunity to make contact with someone who you may end up working with (or even competing with) further down the line.  A little bit of help can go a long way.

5. Be Sociable

Even when you can’t be directly helpful, it pays to get out there and enjoy those around you, even when you’re ‘on business’. Every meeting is an opportunity. Just as it’s important to be seen, it’s equally important to reach out and be social. Showing your face is one thing, holding out a welcoming hand is another.

6. Be Selective

The more you make yourself visible, the more that will become available to you. But it’s not all amazing. You need to be a filter to everything that comes your way. You are your own personal curator. You hold the key to what gets consumed and what gets thrown out. Being selective is harder than you think, because it can be hard to say no. It’s like when you get rid of clutter. There’s so much you want to keep for sentimental reasons or because it looks good or it might be useful later or…on goes the list of reasons. Being selective is a challenge, but it becomes easier the more you practice. Flex your selective muscle if you want to remain in control.

7. Be Prepared

On one side of prepared, you have pathetic. No preparation whatsoever. No attempt to engage or make the most of what you’ve got. On the other side of prepared, you have perfected. Every last detail scrutinised to within an inch of its life. Every moment of time spent getting something just right, even when time could have been spent better elsewhere. Try not to move too far away from prepared, because danger lies either side. To be prepared is to have an idea of what lies ahead, without obsessing about it or worrying that you’ve missed a minor detail. Without preparation, you have no idea at all and you risk things unnecessarily falling apart.

8. Be Individual

You may hold a view of something that nobody else agrees with. So be it. When you’ve got a hunch, don’t let opinions put you off. Research further. Even if it’s a long shot, give yourself a chance to explore what grabs you before you throw in the towel. Otherwise, you’ll always wonder.

9. Be a Team Player

Together we’re stronger. For all the work you’ll do alone, there are many times when you’ll need a helping hand. For all the specialisms you have, there are others with specialities you need that only they can provide. Don’t just be in the game for you alone; cast your net a bit wider and reap the benefits. You help others and others help you. Geddit?

photo by atomicShed

photo by atomicShed

10. Be Imaginative

Children want to be so many things every day. They want to be a teacher, an astronaut, a racing driver, a princess, a musician, a runner, a dancer, a builder, a shop-keeper, a statue, an animal, a friend, an explorer…

Have you still got a vivid imagination? I hope so!

11. Be Yourself

Of course you’re yourself. Who else would you be?

And that’s the point. The advice to ‘be yourself’ can be frustrating, because it doesn’t mean much in itself. My take is that it’s not worth comparing yourself to others, it’s not worth trying to copy someone else’s success routine, it’s not worth hiding behind an act because you think it’s what people want to see. You need others, but you don’t need to *be* others. To be yourself is to believe in yourself and what you have to offer.

photo by Will Foster

photo by Will Foster

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By being the things above, you’ll bring yourself closer to being whatever you want. So I’ll ask the question again: What will you be today?