lifeskills

Focus On New Experiences If You Want Change To Stick

Change is easier if you don’t call it change. I found that out when I changed my diet started eating differently.

photo by QuintanaRoo

Vegan cupcakes (photo by QuintanaRoo)

We all have to eat. Without food, we wouldn’t get far. But when you’re able to choose whatever you want to eat, could you make handle trying something new?

Two Imperial College students did just that and went vegan for a month to raise money for the Multiple Sclerosis Trust.

In that month, Clare Cheng and Hannah Cox found plenty to enjoy, even if it was a challenge.

And that was just a month. If their goal was to become vegan on a permanent basis, they would have found plenty plenty more to explore and discover.

But this was no ethical choice or health-related change. From meat-eating, dairy-loving and egg-devouring human beings, the change to a vegan diet seemed pretty hardcore to them:

“Our preconception of the vegan lifestyle was that of tasteless and unfulfilling meals that satisfied your body, but not your mind. So it was a surprise when we found that actually some parts of being vegan were pretty good.”

I live with a vegan, so I get to eat a lot of vegan meals. Days go by (maybe weeks) and only then I realise that I haven’t eaten any meat in ages. Even dairy products and eggs don’t get a look in for a while. And I’m fine with that, so long as the diet is healthy and doesn’t miss out on any nutrients that are hard to find in a vegan diet. Fortunately, that’s covered too.

But while I’m going so long without the food I was so used to in the past, I don’t feel like much has changed. I’m living differently, but I acknowledge the final choice is still my own. I don’t actively class myself as vegetarian or vegan, even though I’m close to being that anyway.

When I’ve spoken to people who made a choice to go veggie or vegan with an ‘all-or-nothing’ approach, cravings can be an issue. Many vegetarians admit that they miss bacon more than anything else. For vegans, the craving for an occasional egg can be pretty strong at times. Yet I haven’t particularly felt that.

Some thoughts why:

  • I don’t have the stress of feeling it’s a hardcore change – At no stage have I labelled myself with the description ‘vegetarian’ or ‘vegan’. I simply explored what was available and allowed myself to eat anything I wanted. Meat and dairy products have never been off the menu. All that’s changed is that I picked a different meal from the menu. It’s all about my attitude toward change.
  • The more time I put in to new recipes and combinations opens the doors for more, not less – I was asked to bake a cake recently. I have never baked a cake before. And this had to be a vegan cake too!
    One quick flick through a vegan recipe book gave me the confidence to make a chocolate cake. And it was yummy. Like a chocolate brownie. Then I made another, in an attempt to improve the consistency a bit. Two tablespoons of apple sauce later and the second cake was even more presentable. In no time I’d gone from never having baked a cake to finding ways of improving a recipe. [I enjoyed another slice in the middle of writing this. Win!]
  • I’m going in search of new food I haven’t tried, and food I’ve never heard of – Limitations in one area move you to explore other areas for alternatives and workarounds. Cheng and Cox had a lot of soya milk, although my favourite is oat milk. I’ve tried hemp milk, rice milk, and various other concoctions. Some weren’t even on my radar until recently!
  • I’m still learning more about myself – Big changes get you thinking about your current circumstances as well as your future ones. Questions come flying. Why am I doing this? How can I do things better? What are the implications? What are the differences between Point A and Point B?

One of the uncomfortable things about change is that it forces us out of the comfort zone and into new territory. But once you’re there, it’s usually just as comfy, if not better than before.

What can you do when change is afoot?

Firstly, try not to label the change and don’t take an all-or-nothing approach if you want this to be long-term. New Year resolutions and giving stuff up for Lent give an artificial totality to what you’re doing. Altering your lifestyle in such a complete and sudden way is hard to do successfully and happily.

Second, not doing something in the past doesn’t automatically mean you cannot do it at all. It’s easy to say “I can’t” when you really mean “I’ve never tried”. Give yourself a chance, make a few mistakes, and build up the confidence to build bigger and better things.

Third, there is so much choice out there that you have made thousands of unconscious limitations and automatic choices for the sake of ease. That’s fine in itself much of the time. But when you want to change, those limitations and choices seem practically hard-wired! Next time you’re faced with a challenge, sit down and think about what’s limiting you. Then seek out alternatives to help move you along. It’s not always easy, but sometimes all you need to do is to search around.

Finally, all these big questions help your critical thinking, as well as open up your attitudes to change. If the challenge is big enough, you may come out the other side thinking you could do almost anything. The world is out there, waiting for you to make your next move!

Going back to the start of this post, change does require huge effort. Even when everything is in place and you want to rise to the challenge, there’s the question of willpower. As Cheng and Cox explain of going vegan:

“It makes everyday life that little more difficult when you walk down the aisles of delicious Easter Eggs or pass a good ol’ burger bar with that smell of meaty goodness.”

And they are right. When you make such an extreme change, missing out on so much that you’re used to is a threat to your intention. I used to love Creme Eggs and I ate all sorts of meat. But the less I have these things and the more I enjoy the wealth of food that’s still available to me without these options, I realise that I don’t particularly miss the choc and the meat. Not to mention the eggs and dairy products.

My once favourite Creme Eggs are now viewed with hardly any emotion at all. When they went on sale again in January, I didn’t play my usual hand of buying several dozen straight away. I purchased 12 eggs and enjoyed two a day. They were gone in less than a week, but my craving was satisfied. And I haven’t bought any since. Even writing about them here isn’t upping any desire to munch on one.

Why? Because I stepped out of my comfort zone and kept going. It’s certainly easier with someone else by your side who is taking their lifestyle seriously. I’m lucky there. However, if I wasn’t actively embracing the change, nothing could have put me in the right mindset to take on the challenge.

For me, the mindset necessary was to focus less on the change (the hard part) and more on the new experiences (the fun part). The key was not to label myself as ‘vegetarian’ or ‘vegan’. By not formally recognising any barriers around my eating, I’ve found it easier to keep the barriers up.

The next time change is afoot, see how far you can take things without actively calling it ‘change’.

Are you ready to rise to the next challenge?

photo by floridecires

photo by floridecires

Manage the Noise – 6 Easy Ways to Plug In Better.

Where we’ve improved in communication and information, we’ve suffered in lost time and overload.

If the coming years are set to be a boom for curators of information, how can you strike a balance between drinking from a firehose and switching off the flow completely?

photo by bartmaguire

photo by bartmaguire

The Atlantic provides some ideas on how to plug in better, and there’s plenty more you can do to use your time productively and access huge amounts of noise at the same time. Here are some of the things I’ve learned to do over the years.

Six Ways to Plug In Better

  1. Prioritise accurately – Recognise social networks as a true time sink. If it’s on in the background, or constantly causing you to check your phone, it’s taking up more time and attention than you think. In many cases, that’s fine. In some cases, you need to shut down or find a way to tune in to a more limited feed of information.
  2. Know when to shut down – I used to repeat the phrase “know when to stop” a while back. It was to remind myself that time is precious. You may be wonderful at time-management, but that doesn’t mean you know when to stop. The constant flow of information coming your way is easily switched off, but it’s not so easy to make that conscious choice to shut it down.
    You rarely need to hear something at the first possible moment. You may want to, but that’s a whole different matter. Also, when a big event takes over, you’re unlikely to miss it completely. I regularly take days at a time away from online activity, but the world still goes on without problem. And I return without problem too. Nothing is damaged, no harm is done.
    To some online gurus, leaving the scene is a cardinal sin. Why not schedule something in advance? Why not make a big deal about your downtime? Why not find a way to not have any downtime at all?
    I prefer not to follow advice that doesn’t gel with the bigger picture. When my circumstances change, the bigger picture may change and I may follow different advice. So I’m listening to what makes sense in my own personal circumstances. With a bit of listening, it becomes clear when it’s wise to shut down and when it’s best to log back on.
  3. Don’t read everything – Some people complain when they’re following more than a hundred RSS news feeds. Some people complain when they’re keeping up with more than a couple hundred users on Twitter. Some people complain when they’re catching up with several hundred friends on Facebook.
    But how much of it is important? Chances are, most of what you read won’t make a difference to you. You need to be brutal and bypass a lot of the content out there. Either flick through your updates and develop a focused mind (no more cute kitten vids and hilarious TV ads will disturb you now, uh-huh!) or select the items you want to spend more time on and save them for later consumption.
  4. Don’t fall for ‘in the moment’ – When you save stuff to look at later, you may not be the first person to comment on every last detail. You may have to miss out on making a really clever remark within five seconds of someone writing a status update. I always feel sad when I miss saying something amusing in the moment, but I remind myself that I find loads of other times to do it. You can’t be everywhere all the time. Not everything will work out how you want it, and you have to get used to that (which takes a bit of practice, but isn’t difficult in itself). Once you get over this, you’ll find it much easier to turn off the feeds when you need. And you’ll find it much easier to catch up too.
  5. Scan for what’s important now, what you’ll save for later, and what might entertain you – Everything else can go out the window. If you’re unsure about something, save it for later or take a quick peek to decide one way or another. That’s a quick peek, not reading half an article! The important stuff comes first, the stuff for later comes whenever you get spare time (including never), and the stuff that might entertain you can be for your breaks and downtime when you want something else to do. Because breaks are important!
  6. Use the time you’ve got rather than finding more and more time to sort – When I’m away for a few days, or something urgent crashes in to my schedule, I may come back to A LOT of catching up. After all, I subscribe to hundreds of blogs, I follow thousands of people on Twitter, and I’m using loads of other services more too (like Google+, LinkedIn, Scoop It, and so on).
    A lot of the catching up isn’t necessary, so I work on what I should be aware of. For instance, I have a Twitter list of essential accounts to check back on for the last day or so, I have selected a few RSS feeds that need reading and a few busy RSS feeds that I can ignore without even checking, and I keep a scratchpad to make brief notes rather than trying to put something major together (that can wait, but I don’t want to lose any ideas).

I’m still learning and I doubt I’ll ever stop. So let me know what works for you when you plug in to the great firehose of noise in your life.

“If You’re a Fresher…Calm It!”

A student at Oxford Brookes has started a YouTube vlog called “University JibberJabber“.

Maxine Agyemang got in touch with me to say that she’s put together a load of tips on applying to uni, getting to know uni, studying, and making the most of your student life.

As a Fresher, Maxine has only just got to experience this herself, so these tips are fresh in her mind.

What’s university like really? “It’s pretty damn normal”, says Maxine. She doesn’t mean it’s not awesome, but the initial fun will quickly move away as you settle in.

And that’s fine. If you’re happy with things, the sense of ‘normal’ may not be normal to anyone but yourself, but it’s a sign that you’re comfortable with where you are.

So be comfortable, just don’t sit in your comfort zone. They’re different things. The solution? Strive to do amazing things comfortably!

Maxine says that she wanted to make the video she wishes she had before she started at university. It would have helped her feel less stressed for a start. Maxine says, “If you’re a Fresher…Calm it! They’re expecting you to get things wrong“.

They really are. Tutors, staff, everyone involved knows you’ve got a lot to get used to and a lot to learn when you first step foot on campus. Three years (or more) is a long time. If you think you’ve got it sussed from day one, you’re either missing out on sooooo much, or you’re doing something wrong!

So grab a drink and — if you’re anything like me — lots of snacks, and watch Maxine share with you what’s worked for her in her first few months at university.

How To Make the Most of YOUR Student Experience

Q: What is ‘the student experience’?
A: It’s what you make it!

This week, I held a workshop at the University of Glamorgan about ‘the student experience’.

I’ve mentioned Glamorgan in the past for their brilliant Glam Insight, where students write about their time at the university and their experiences while they study.

The students make clear how different their lives are, how varied their experiences are, and how wide-ranging their opportunities are.

In the workshop, I asked four questions. They are covered in the presentation below. But if I could sum things up as briefly as possible, here’s what I’d say in a nutshell:

  1. What IS ‘the student experience’?
    Nothing in particular. Reclaim it as your own. Ask what you want and why you want it.
  2. What should young people consider when applying?
    The bigger picture first, and only then the fact that they would like to live in nice halls.
  3. Why do students leave?
    Not enough subject research and not enough knowledge of what’s on offer.
  4. How do students make ‘the student experience’ work for them?
    Be selfish, open up to change, and be prepared to fail.

Question 4 is the big one here. If you want to skip the Prezi presentation itself and get straight to the good stuff in the archives, I’ve got the top 10 tips on making the most of your experience underneath.

“The Student Experience” on Prezi

How do you make the most of
‘the student experience’? 10 Tips

  1. Don’t compare yourself to others. The Student Experience is YOUR experience.
    https://theuniversityblog.co.uk/2010/03/30/you-or-everyone-else/
  2. Be involved!
    https://theuniversityblog.co.uk/2011/08/11/why-being-involved-is-so-important-to-learning/
  3. Seek out new opportunities and experiences rather than waiting for them to come to you.
    https://theuniversityblog.co.uk/2010/05/28/act-on-ideas-or-fade-away/
  4. Embrace failure.
    https://theuniversityblog.co.uk/2011/05/03/how-to-fail-brilliantly/
  5. Pick yourself up, dust yourself down, keep going.
    https://theuniversityblog.co.uk/2008/02/25/10-tips-to-pick-yourself-up-after-a-fall/
  6. Take your experience seriously, even when you’re having fun.
    https://theuniversityblog.co.uk/2010/02/04/get-serious-about-university/
  7. Enjoy the benefits, but do remember you can have too much of a good thing…
    https://theuniversityblog.co.uk/2008/01/11/10-reasons-why-the-benefits-of-university-can-lead-to-downfall/
  8. Embrace the unknown. Prepare for the unknown. But don’t fear the unknown.
    https://theuniversityblog.co.uk/2011/06/02/fearing-the-unknown/
  9. Look beyond employability. Look beyond the piece of paper you get at the end of those years.
    https://theuniversityblog.co.uk/2011/05/17/looking-beyond-employability/
  10. Focus more on yourself, less on the degree. “Your degree isn’t the source of awesome. You are.”
    https://theuniversityblog.co.uk/2011/10/27/grad-employability/