lifeskills

Does ‘balance’ exist?

When it comes to a work/life balance, I see 2 groups of people:

  1. Those who say a balance is possible
  2. Those who say there is no such thing as balance

The first group of people may have found their balance or, if not, are looking for it.  The second group of people may feel generally happy with the mix of their workload, but don’t consider it as balanced.

This is confused.  The problem lies with defining what a work/life balance is.

photo by stuartpilbrow

photo by stuartpilbrow

The Oxford Dictionary of English defines ‘balance’ as:

  • noun: mental or emotional stability: the way to some kind of peace and personal balance.
  • verb: counteract or equal the effect or importance of – “he balanced his radical remarks with more familiar declarations.” – establish equal or appropriate proportions of elements in – “balancing work and family life.”

As a noun, stability is a major point in understanding balance.  Balance doesn’t necessitate two equal halves.  It can be found no matter how skewed the plan looks to an outsider.  Balance is personal stability.

As a verb, however, the tendency is to view things in equal measures.  And since we often refer to balance as a verb, such as “balancing coursework and social time”, we rely too much on the assumption that a mental balance requires the same proportion of everything.

Such a strict measure is unrealistic and not usually quantifiable anyway, which means many argue that ‘balance’ doesn’t exist.

The purpose of a work/life balance is to be aware of your lot and make sure you’re not missing out or working yourself too hard.  Balance certainly doesn’t mean you should be taking equal doses of work and fun.  Unless, of course, you want to!

Don’t assume hard work and social life are entirely separate forms.  We mix business and pleasure, networking can be fun even though we’re ‘on the job’, we keep study groups entertaining and relaxed.  See why balance can’t easily be quantified?

For those who argue dispute the existence of balance at all, how about looking at the concept as a definition of happiness?  Do you feel content or are you under pressure all the time?  Ask if you feel the need to change the mix in your life before you can find greater happiness.

A positive mix of events and a lack of stress may be all that is needed before a ‘balance’ can be achieved…whatever you call it.

At the beginning of this new academic year, be mindful of what you’re going through over the coming months and don’t be scared to drop some activities if it all gets too much.  Whether it’s your study, social life, part-time job, relationship, and any other regular activity that forms part of your life, be aware of how it’s going as you live through it.  How does it fit in with everything else you’re doing?  If you let life happen without thinking about it, you face the problem of having to recover at a more difficult point.

Okay, some events are impossible to predict.  From a perfectly organised perspective, your plans can be turned upside down.

Whether these events are welcome or not, right now is the time to consider how the events will impact upon everything else you’re doing.

I’m posting this today because I’ve had some of those ‘impossible to predict’ events happen recently and they altered my sense of balance.  It’s not an issue, because I’m aware of the situation and I strive to return to a suitable position of ‘balance’.

To do this, I will:

  • Analyse how much time these new events take up in the day;
  • Find ways to speed up regular processes;
  • Consider if I can/should stop doing certain tasks in the day;
  • Reduce the number of times I focus on the regular tasks that I still need to complete.

I’m not prepared to ignore what’s going on, living in hope that things will sort themselves out on their own.  They never do!

With a bit of planning (and acceptance that unexpected things happen), I believe that balance is possible and never too far away.  And perhaps you still don’t like the word ‘balance’. But when you find peace and a personal contentment, you’re pretty balanced, whatever you want to call it.  That’s the main thing.

photo by Alex Barth

photo by Alex Barth

Controlling ‘valid disruptions’

Let’s say you’re writing an essay. At the same time, you’re using the Web. At the same time, you’ve got Facebook open. At the same time, Twitter is feeding you constant updates from the people you follow.

Is this kind of situation something you’ve experienced?

I listened to Aaron Porter talk at the Association for Learning Technology Conference (ALT-C) today. At one point he recounted his experience of completing coursework:

“I had a sense of anxiety if I didn’t know what was going on elsewhere and the ability to flick between different [computer] windows was quite reassuring.”

In a world where we increasingly work with realtime information and rolling updates, it’s difficult to feel at ease when you know you may be missing out on something.  This problem is not confined to entertainment; it reaches all aspects of life, including education.

A sense of needing to be on the pulse at all times is a recipe for information overload, or ‘filter failure’.  However, we’re not about to start working without  disruption on a regular basis.  It’s becoming a way of life.  What we call  ‘disruptions’ are often self-created.  Perhaps you could call them ‘allowed  disruptions’ or ‘valid disruptions’.

photo by jesse.millan

photo by jesse.millan

To put it another way, you have asked for Facebook on screen and you have requested updates from online services. You’d be more annoyed if someone knocked on your door every two minutes, asking questions. And you’d hate it when you’re trying to work and someone starts blasting music loudly that you don’t want to hear.

So disruptions aren’t always unwelcome, even if they are disruptive. That’s why moving away from ‘valid disruptions’ can cause such anxiety.

Does that mean a disconnected student is a more productive one? A more successful one?

No, it doesn’t. But for the same reason ‘valid disruptions’ are self-created, the number of ‘valid disruptions’ need also be self-regulated. Once it becomes too much, you’re better off limiting the flow. Letting it continue would be less productive, which cancels any use the ‘valid disruptions’ were in the first place.

It’s not easy to self-regulate when you’re used to the flow of different voices, calling for your attention. But to recognise the need to cut back when it’s difficult to cope is most of the battle won.

How do you recognise the need to reduce those disruptions?  It’s usually when one or more of these things happen:

  1. When you’re not getting enjoyment/engagement from the flows that you’re following;
  2. When it’s too difficult to keep up with the flows;
  3. When nothing else gets a look-in;
  4. When ‘long-term’ detail is sacrificed completely for instant satisfaction;
  5. When you can’t act on the flow and it just becomes noise.

So keep an eye out!

How have you fared with ‘valid disruptions’?  Are they a boon or a pain?

Never Underestimate Time

We’re notoriously bad at ‘doing time’. Memory plays tricks on us.  We remember several years ago like it was yesterday. Yet it’s hard to remember what dinner was four days ago. The last time you saw a good friend felt like months ago, but it was less than two weeks back according to your diary.  Then, when you meet up again, it’s like you’d hardly been apart!

Yes, time is weird.

photo by TW Collins

photo by TW Collins

How much time do you think is available?

Whatever the event, whatever the deadline, it’ll feel like a long way away at first. Say you’ve got a month to complete some coursework. You don’t think it’s worth starting so soon. Anyway, it shouldn’t take more than a few hours of your time.

But it’s bound to take longer than you imagine.  Maybe a few extra hours tidying up and formatting, maybe a couple of extra days researching.  The deadline of one month slips away without you realising and it’s hard to recover without a solid plan of action.  What seemed like long into the future is now a race against time.

Don’t underestimate how long you’ve got. Life has a tendency to get overcrowded. A lack of clear goals will only make matters worse.  Get timetabling, Get organised, and start early.

Time shifts.  When is your time?

The 24 hours in each day are not equal in terms of your productivity. For a start, you probably sleep between 5 and 10 hours of every 24.

What about the remaining hours?  Well, it’s a simple goal, but crucial…find the right time of day for you.

It might sound like common sense, but another thing we’re bad at is listening to our bodies. If you’re a night owl, your body will hold you back if you try making an early morning start on your work. So try to get the work done in the evening. While you may prefer to have fun at the times you’re most awake, you must devote some of your most alert moments on work too. Having fun doesn’t usually need as much brainpower as hard work and research.  Depends on what the ‘having fun’ involves!

Got a lot of time on your hands? Is that actually a good thing?

Having too much time is just as bad as not having enough.  The combination of too much time on your hands and a low willpower (which can often go together) leads to a damp squib.

Fill some of that time up.  Do some volunteering in your field, join a society, make some cash with a part-time job, do something you’re interested in.

Don’t fill the time up with pointless exercises or just act busy.  The secret is having a select number of focused goals and interests.  They don’t have to be full-on passions, so feel free to experiment!  You’ll know when the right thing hits you.

With less free time on your hands and a greater focus, you’ll feel more energised than if you were just bumming around half the time.  The renewed energy should have a knock-on effect with everything else you do.  What have you got to lose?

Why can’t time be simple?

While we’re on Earth, we live through every second of every day of every week of every year.  We use time everywhere.  We look at the time.  We wait for the right time.  We set timers and alarms and reminders.  Yet time controls us.  It just has to be a strange relationship.

Every second counts.  That’s why the better we work with time, the more we get out of it.  Plan your time in advance, know when the time is right, and use the time wisely.

When you do this, you respect time.  And time may well nod in your direction and respect you back.

Information overload, or filter failure?

There is no such thing as information overload.  If you’re overwhelmed by what you’ve got to read/consume, you have probably chosen to feel that pain.

The choice may not be intentional, but I doubt someone else is forcing you to consume too much information.  Even the compulsory reads on your reading lists shouldn’t be too much, even if it seems that way at the time.

[Note: Speed reading could help.  A quick search on Google brings loads of results.  At time of writing, the most recent speed reading piece I’ve seen is from Tim Ferriss.  To try getting a speed boost, give it a go.]

Imagine you see the Top 10 bestselling non-fiction books in a store.  Have you read all of them?  It’s unlikely.  Do you intend to?  I doubt it.

What you’ve done here is created a filter.  You have chosen to miss out on some reading material.  Even if you had the money, the chances of someone buying all the books and reading each of them are slim.  I’m sure you’d probably take something useful away from many books you’ve not read, but you can’t read every last thing that’s ever been written.  Even a fraction of one percent would be difficult to get through.  There’s just too much out there!

photo by B Tal

photo by B Tal

Your life is full of choices.  The data you wish to consume depends on how you choose to consume.  Some people, even uni students, claim never to read books unless they are practically forced to for an essay or exam.  Others can’t stop reading certain types of novels.  Others spend all day reading Facebook updates and blog posts.  It’s all a choice.

‘Information Overload’ occurs when you choose to consume too much.  It also happens when there’s such a backlog of reading that it’s too difficult to catch up with.  You then have to make another choice…do you give up something else in order to catch up, or do you discard some of the older material in order to lighten the load?

You’re likely to lose out if you take on too much.  When the ‘Information Overload’ feels like it’s about to strike, the simple choice is to get rid of a portion of what’s bringing you down.  Failing that, skim for the main points only and move on as quickly as possible.

It’s difficult to stop engaging with information that you’re used to reading.  It’s difficult to stop reading/watching the news if you’re used to that.  It’s difficult to stop consuming anything you have grown accustomed to.  That is why filtering is not easy, but always possible.  And not only is it a relief, it’s also surprising how little it matters once you’ve stopped.

One of my personal mottos is “Know when to stop”.  I find it important to read a lot.  It feels right in my personal circumstances and I use it to my advantage.  Once I start to find things tough, I step back and discard what I can do without. As I say, not always easy, but definitely possible.  The more I have practised this, the easier it has become to cut back and move on.

Sure, some of my choices may end up being mistakes.  Nobody’s perfect.  But it’s unusual to find a situation where you can’t rectify those mistakes and get back to the position you want to be.

Steve Pavlina has written about networking with busy people.  It’s worth reading what he has to say in relation to information overload, because he could have crashed and burned with the amount of communication he was getting.  As his site grew, so did the number of people contacting him.  Rather than continue responding to every single person, Steve decided to filter differently in order to cope.  He says, “I don’t have the capacity to accept deeper connections with everyone who wants to build a bridge with me, so I have to be selective”.

I’m sure he didn’t want to stop talking to each and every person, but there comes a time when it’s not possible to keep going.  When no choice is made to change the filter, that’s when the choice is made for you and ‘information overload’ occurs.

While some people insist on swimming further out to sea until they’re helplessly swept away, I’ll make do with paddling.  Maybe, just maybe, I’ll take a short swim in slightly deeper waters, but I want to be sure I can get back to safety pretty quickly.

I don’t see that as weak.  I simply want to be able to make the choice myself.  It’s important to be in control of those filters and use them wisely.

How easy do you find filtering your information in-tray?  If you have any tips, I’d love to hear from you.