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7 Crucial Considerations To Help You Stay In Touch With Uni Friends After You Graduate

I sometimes wonder if I’m the absolute worst at keeping in touch with friends.

Okay, I have some close mates who like to compete for the title. So maybe lots of us are like that.

How well do you keep the sparks flying? Are you fiendishly friend-focused, or do you have serious trouble touching base?

If it’s bad for you now, think how tough you’ll find it when you graduate!

So this post is for you (and me) to reflect on how we can do better at having meaningful relationships, even from a distance and when your lives go in every direction.

Here are seven thoughts on staying BFFs with heart and passion:

1. Understand that not everyone is brilliant at keeping in touch.

You may already be amazing at relationships. Some people keep the flame burning with ease. Others treat the flame like an oxygen-free room would…It goes out instantly and it’s practically impossible to reignite the fire.

If you NEVER hear from a friend and they aren’t excited when you get in touch, maybe it’s time to cut your losses. Otherwise, try not to sweat it. Be happy that you can reach out better than most people.

2. Embrace the inevitable change that comes your way.

Whether you’re leaving the comfort of campus in your second year, or you’re moving back home at the end of your degree, one thing is always the same…Change!

A common response is to lament how people move on, but why not enjoy experiencing all the developments that your friends go through, just the same as you’re developing yourself?

That mindset alone helps you let go of unimportant things and keep hold of what really matters. You awesome friend, you.

3. Get in touch meaningfully.

Go beyond social media. Send a letter or a postcard once in a while. You don’t have to be on holiday or doing anything special either.

Buy some fun postcards and stamps, keep them close to hand, and write a few brief words of love every now and then. Make it a habit. I wish I’d done this. I got as far as collecting some postcards, but didn’t get much further. Don’t make my mistake!

4. It’s all about the little things in life.

Telling your friends what you’re up to gets you thinking about the big news you want to share. But if you want to stay in touch more frequently, nothing beats a bit of boring detail.

Your day-to-day life is what makes you tick. The big experiences are profound and worth talking about, but not at the expense of the other weeks in the year when you’re not doing something massive.

Share your small stories and let your mates know what it’s like to be you in the calmer, everyday moments.

5. Don’t begrudge them new mates.

When you’ve lived in someone else’s pockets for a year or three, you can get pretty possessive. And it’s fair to be a bit jealous when you know someone else is hanging around such a good mate on a regular basis.

But would you rather your good friend had no other friends? Would you prefer that they stayed in every night and had no social life?

It would be strange if your friend had left university and NOT made some new mates. There’s no need to feel like it’s a competition or that your friendship has been overtaken by someone else.

All friendships are unique, so drop the comparisons and love your matchless bond.

6. Find new ways to get together.

I’ve found that the best way to keep long-distance friendships sparkly is to vary the activities.

Go to events, go on holiday, go to their place, invite them to yours, meet up halfway and explore a brand new place…

7. …Or have a regular meetup.

Routine reunions are another way to ensure you have something to be excited about from one visit to another.

The reason why I prefer to mix things up is because it’s difficult when circumstances change and the regular thing becomes too difficult. Jobs can make it difficult. So can kids, moving further away, and other commitments.

But a change in situation doesn’t mean a change in friendship. You just need to be willing to work with new conditions.

If that means a new routine can be found, great! Otherwise, don’t be afraid to focus more on special events to keep the spark alive.

How good are you at keeping in touch? I like visits and events, but I’m not so good with the everyday communication. There are people I haven’t seen in years who I think about almost daily. If only they knew that I was thinking about them.

My job is to get back in contact and let those people know. That’s next on my list.

What’s next on yours?

girls

TUB-Talk – 28 March 2015

This week sees another test recording for TUB-Talk, with a weekly news drop.

Direct link to Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/universityboy/tub-talk-2015-03-28

As I say before the show starts, I’ll be pushing out a student show and a staff show, so I’d love to hear what you’d want out of an HE podcast. Would you like interviews, advice, news, opinion?

Let me know what would be of help and interest so I can make TUB-Talk just right for you.

Thanks for all the feedback so far. Keep it coming!

Here are the links to the stories mentioned in the podcast:

Social attitudes and tuition fees

Wonkhe – http://www.wonkhe.com/blogs/british-social-attitudes-survey-3-in-4-people-support-tuition-fees/
British Social Attitudes Survey (HE) – http://www.bsa.natcen.ac.uk/media/38917/bsa32_highereducation.pdf

Sir Patrick Stewart stepping down

Huddersfield Daily Examiner – http://www.examiner.co.uk/news/west-yorkshire-news/sir-patrick-stewart-step-down-8931509
BBC – http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leeds-32086234

The consequences of cramming and all-nighters

The Tab Leicester – http://leicester.tab.co.uk/2015/03/25/this-warwick-graduate-did-his-entire-dissertation-in-one-forty-hour-sitting/
Telegraph – http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/educationnews/11497143/Teens-cram-revision-into-one-night-survey-says.html

Low drop-out figures

Times Higher Education – http://www.timeshighereducation.co.uk/news/drop-out-rate-remains-at-record-low/2019319.article

Value for money

Impact – http://www.impactnottingham.com/2015/03/is-your-course-challenging-you-impact-investigates/
Telegraph – http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/educationnews/11490809/Cost-of-a-degree-is-not-worth-it-says-Oxford-bursar.html

Schools, universities and employers building stronger relationships

Association of Graduate Recruiters – http://www.agr.org.uk/The-AGR-Manifesto

The library is my new jam

Oxford, Sounds of the Bodleian – https://www.ox.ac.uk/soundsofthebodleian/
David Kernohan on Twitter – https://twitter.com/dkernohan/status/581451309930414080

TUB-Talk Podcast Test. TheUniversityBlog turns TheUniversityPod…

With a new microphone to play with, I’ve put together a ‘news drop’ that will probably form part of a podcast I’m calling TUB-Talk.

The full podcast is likely to feature interviews, tips and lots of HE goodness.

Let me know what you think of this test by leaving a comment or getting in touch.

Link to Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/universityboy/tub-talk-2015-03-21

Here are the links to the stories mentioned in the podcast:

Recruiting More Students

http://www.theguardian.com/higher-education-network/2015/mar/18/almost-half-of-english-universities-plan-to-recruit-more-students-after-cap-is-lifted

New Postgraduate Loans Announced

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-31942262
http://www.timeshighereducation.co.uk/news/phd-loans-up-to-25k-announced-in-budget/2019210.article

PhD Writing Groups

http://patthomson.net/2015/03/19/4033/

Vice Chancellor Changes

http://oxfordstudent.com/2015/03/18/andrew-hamilton-to-resign/
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/03/19/nyregion/andrew-hamilton-to-succeed-john-sexton-as-president-of-nyu.html
http://www.timeshighereducation.co.uk/news/keele-university-promotes-deputy-v-c-to-top-job/2019217.article
http://www.timeshighereducation.co.uk/news/uuk-president-chris-snowden-to-be-next-southampton-v-c/2019223.article
http://www.mediafhe.com/pressure-and-pension-changes-drive-unprecedented-turnover-in-vcs

Simon Pegg Opens New Theatre At Bristol

http://www.bristol.ac.uk/news/2015/march/richmond-building.html

Reading 20 Pages A Day

https://jamesclear.quora.com/How-to-Read-More-The-Simple-System-I%E2%80%99m-Using-to-Read-30+-Books-Per-Year

Thinking Too Much About Rankings

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/educationnews/11482791/Top-US-academic-slams-UKs-fixation-with-rankings.html

Forming Habits & Myths About Changing Habits

http://www.fastcompany.com/3043854/how-to-be-a-success-at-everything/the-four-biggest-myths-about-changing-your-habits
https://hbr.org/2015/03/to-form-successful-habits-know-what-motivates-you

Gretchen Rubin’s book – Better Than Before: Mastering The Habits Of Our Everyday Lives

Counter-Extremism Strategy Dropped

http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2015/mar/20/theresa-may-drops-rules-ordering-universities-ban-extremist-speakers
http://www.theguardian.com/education/2015/mar/13/oxford-and-cambridge-unions-exempted-from-terror-ban-on-extremist-speakers

Libraries, Birmingham and the ‘Digital Game’

http://theconversation.com/we-need-to-remember-that-libraries-are-about-books-not-business-35884

Finding Work Beyond Job Ads and Agencies

http://thewritelife.com/work-from-home-freelance-writers-find-work/

Chris Brogan’s book – The Freaks Shall Inherit The Earth

If there is anything you would like to hear in the podcast, let me know. I’d love to hear what would turn you into an avid listener!

Your Minimum Editing Route and How Fonts Can Help You Spot Typos

Your Minimum Editing Route

I work with words all the time. I have to be careful not to gloss over my writing. If I do, I risk missing typos and worse.

Even with a clear focus, it’s bad enough. Your focus is on conveying meaning more than it is on uncovering typos.

But there’s hope. When you edit your work, go through several runs at the text. First, read for overall flow. Second, read for clarity. Third, read for typos. This should be your minimum editing route.

Editing for different reasons each time helps you to focus on the particular task at hand. These tasks require thinking processes that do not gel with each other. If you tackle them all at the same time, it’s like ineffective multitasking.

Read out loud and look at each word, no matter how trivial. When you read with purpose, you’ll trip over sentences that clearly need reworking. When you look at each word, the mistakes stand out.

letter blocks

There’s another magic trick that’s easy and effective. Change font!

Yes, simply change the look of your text so it looks new to you.

Copy and paste your text into another document…You don’t want to mess about with your sparkly live document now, do you?

Then change the font. It doesn’t matter which font you choose, so long as you can read it. As you read through the draft, you’ll notice new things (both good and bad) as your brain is tricked into thinking it’s looking at a new document.

Try with different fonts until you find one that’s a good combination of readable and accessible for you to review. After a few uses, you may want to find a new font so you don’t get too familiar with any particular typeface. Once you’re used to it, you won’t be so effective when reviewing your draft.

My own method is to use a few good fonts and rotate their use. That way, I can use the same fonts and not get too familiar with them. I can even throw a curveball and use a completely different font on a particularly challenging piece of text. Anything to get me focused where it counts.

Which fonts would you recommend?

typefaces